A shout out to teen moms! What it is really like to be pregnant

One of the first things that went through my head when I found out I was pregnant, besides "Oh no!, what is my mom going to think?" was "great, I'm going to get fat." 

Some people say that pregnancy is such a beautiful thing. I believe the fact that a little person growing inside of you is beautiful, but the many changes a woman's body endures are not.

Here are some things I learned about what it is like to be pregnant and some lessons for what you might learn about your body during pregnancy

 Lesson 1: Babies love pickles.

For the first 4 ½ maybe 5 months of pregnancy the baby is still so small that a little “baby bump” is all people see. It is hard to differ between an actual baby inside of you and a little tummy fat. Also, the baby needs food! Being pregnant made my appetite increase a lot! Women often find themselves eating very strange things that they never liked before just because the baby needs the protein or iron or whatever is in the food. For me, it was fruit and random vegetables with sugar. It wasn’t normal pairs though like strawberries and chocolate. I put whip cream on every fruit and veggie I saw in my house. My favorite was whip cream and pickles. It’s not just a rumor that pregnant woman cave pickles because I did too!

Lesson 2: Must love TUMS

Some common pregnancy symptoms that I had and did not enjoy were morning sickness and heart burn. These were not fun! I would feel completely fine and then out of nowhere get an upset feeling in my stomach and be rushing to the bathroom to vomit. No matter what I ate, spicy or not I would get heart burn. I even started carrying around a bottle of TUMS.

Lesson 3: Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can

Later on in pregnancy the weight of the baby really starts to take a toll on your body. Your back arches like a Pringle and aches all the time because it is trying to help support the weight of the baby. Your hips start to shift and become wider. Also, if the baby is carried high, there is a greater chance of your ribs getting kicked, pushed, and even bruised. During the end a woman’s body has already gone through so much, she is uncomfortable because having a large belly makes it hard to do pretty much everything even sleep, and she is just ready for the baby to come out!

Lesson 4: It’s all worth it

And then there is child birth. I am not even going to get into the horrifying details of that because I think you all can imagine how terrible it can be. In the end though, seeing my baby made it all worth it, because a mother’s love for her child is unlike any other love out there.

For all of the other young moms out there: here are some tips or resources for going through the long process of pregnancy: list 5 tips or resources 

1. Get TUMS 
2. Paint your toe nails before you get too big or you won’t be able to reach them 
3. Take relaxing bubble baths if you’re feeling uncomfortable  
4. Give into the crazy cravings or they get worse!
5. Call Teen Link if you ever want someone to talk to or support you. Teen Link is a confidential and anonymous helpline for teens answered by teens. Once you have your baby it takes up a lot of your time/all of your time, sleep, and energy, so it is nice to be able to call somewhere and actually talk to another person who will really listen. To call Teen Link dial 1866-833-6546 or you can also use the online chat by visiting the Teen Link website www.866teenlink.org.

See the human Inside

"human INSIDE is an anti-discrimination campaign which aims to raise awareness of discrimination and hopefully reduce discrimination as much as possible.

Instead of using people, inanimate objects became the subjects of the photo essays. Each essay tells a story that relates to results of discrimination or how it unfolds." 

Through these powerful images and quotes, Faheema Patel demonstrates discrimination that surrounds and affects us all. 

Racial Discrimination

In 2012, 51 percent of Americans expressed anti-black sentiments in a poll; a 3 percent increase from 2008.

"99.9% of the DNA of every person in the world is identical.” – The Human Genome Project

(Faheema Patel)

Body Image

80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat.

“Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.” – Unknown

(Faheema Patel)

Disability Discrimination 

Just over 1 in 4 of today's 20 year-olds will become disabled before they retire. No one is immune, only resilient.  

Differently abled not disabled (Faheema Patel)

Bystander Effect

In 54% of cases, bystanders reinforced the bully by watching but not joining in. 

“Our thoughts are unseen hands shaping the people we meet. Whatever we truly think them to

 be that’s what they’ll become for us.” – Richard Cowper 

(Faheema Patel)

Violence Against Women

“6 out of every 10 women worldwide experience violence in their lifetime.” – UNIFEM

(Faheema Patel)

Most dating violence incidents are never reported.

Help change the facts. Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of dating violence.

Religious Discrimination 

Nearly 50 percent of countries increased their religious discrimination between 2009 and 2010, and only 32 percent saw decreases.

If religion is not a crime then why are we treated like criminals? (Faheema Patel)

Freedom

"WE ALL DESERVE

...a life of peace

...a life of freedom" (Faheema Patel)

Teen Link believes in freedom. We provide a place for young people to talk about their struggles with people their own age. We believe that through talking it out there can be healing. 

Teen Link is an anonymous support line, open everyday 6pm-10pm. We have online chat and a phone line open to everyone ages 13-21. You can reach Teen Link at; 

(866)-833-6546 or www.866teenlink.org

To find more information on the human Inside project visit: http://www.behance.net/gallery/human-Inside/1421483

All pictures and quotes belong to Faheema Patel and the human Inside project. 

Unity in Diversity: What do YOU find beautiful?

"We often go chasing after ideals instead of accepting life in all of its diversity"

When I think of the word beauty, I picture a slim, tall, light eyed, longhaired Caucasian woman. My definition of beauty is a real-life Barbie doll. My definition of beauty is distorted.

When 97% of women look in the mirror they experience an “I hate my body" moment. Their definition of beauty is distorted.

Society promotes the concept that the perfect body is the key to being happy in life. 

So what does this perfect body look like?

In Western culture, the culture I grew up in, the dominant standard of beauty is contradictory. It tells women to be thin, curvy, muscular and delicate (all at the same time). The funny thing is that out of the 158.3 million women living in the United States, only 5% naturally have the body type portrayed as the ideal.

So why do we set these unreachable standards?

Maybe it is because we perpetuate this image through media and culture. The Barbie doll that most Western girls grow up with is an impossibly unreal person.

Research shows that if Barbie were real, her 6-inch ankles would force her to walk on all fours and her six-inch thinner neck would prevent her from lifting her head. Barbie in real life is not what anyone would consider beautiful.

So then who is?

In other countries and cultures beauty is perceived in a very different way.

The Kayan tribe (between Burma and Thailand) considers beauty to be “long necks”. Beauty is measured according to the number of brass rings around their neck.

In India, henna, long hair, fair skin and colored saris is considered beauty.

In Mauritania beautiful women are those with big curves. A “heavy” lady is more likely to get married.

In the Middle East beauty is not what one sees but what one does not see. Beauty is not based on what one looks like but how they present themselves and act.

Some of these ideas of beauty may seem strange and even unattractive to us. But it makes one thing clear that beauty is dictated by the places we come from, the cultures we assimilate to and the traditions we follow.

So what is beauty?

Beauty is diversity. Beauty is an individual and extremely subjective perception.

Beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes- there is no such thing as a good body or a bad body.

There will always be someone who is shorter, taller, thinner, heavier, younger, older, flatter, and rounder.

But there will never be you.

So embrace body diversity. It’s what makes us beautiful.

If you ever feel like you are finding it challenging to accept your body or anything else, call Teen Link at (866) 833-6546. You can call any day from 6-10pm to talk to another teen anonymously about what is going on. 

"Healthy" Diet Gone Too Far?

Unprocessed foods. Vegetables. Multi-grains. Pure water. What's wrong with a healthy diet? 

Well, really nothing...until it goes too far. 

When we think of eating disorders, we often think of anorexia and bulimia, disorders motivated by the desire to be thin. However, orthorexia is a bit different. Instead of thoughts like "I want to be skinnier" or "I'm too big to eat," an orthorexic person might think things like "I know better than them" or "They're wasting their bodies."

What does that mean?

Orthorexia is an obsession with eating healthy. But not only that, it becomes overwhelming to the point that it is the most important thing in your mind. People with orthorexia are driven by the "perfect diet," making this eating disorder more of a moralistic goal than a purely physical goal. They might think that because they are pursuing this diet, they are purer than other people. They might also think that others are killing themselves by eating unhealthy things.

Orthorexic people take healthy eating to an unhealthy level, withdrawing themselves from social events involving food. If they don't prepare the good themselves, they may not feel comfortable eating it.

Even though orthorexia isn't primarily driven by the desire to be thin, it usually results in severe weight-loss and malnutrition. 

Trying to eat healthy or going on a diet does not mean that a person has orthorexia. However, here are some signs that you or a friend might have orthorexia (see more details at http://www.timberlineknolls.com/eating-disorder/orthorexia/signs-effects):

• Avoiding preservatives, artificial flavors, genetically modified foods, fat, sugar, salt, dairy products, or any ingredients that seem unhealthy
• Obsessing over the connection between unhealthy foods and medical conditions (i.e. cancer, asthma, digestive problems)
• Severely limiting the number of foods that are acceptable to eat 
• Extreme concern over how food is prepared (i.e. if it's washed enough, if utensils are clean)
• Feeling guilty after eating "non-approved" foods
• Feeling a sense of pride/superiority from eating "healthy"
• Consistently planning out meals beforehand
• Feeling uncomfortable with eating out or eating food prepared by someone else
• Mood swings, depression, anxiety

Remember that it's okay to eat healthy and it's okay to eat not-so-healthy things too!

If you want to talk about eating disorders or anything else that's on your mind, call Teen Link at (866) 833-6546. You can call any day from 6-10pm to talk to another teen anonymously about what's going on.

Have a delicious day!

"Your shirts too low."

My boyfriend raises his eyebrows at me, “That shirt is pretty low,” he says.

It was my shimmery gold shirt,

The one filled with little red triangles and intricate designs,

one of my favorites.

My boyfriend had commented on my shirt being "too low,"

or my pants being "too tight," before.

I laughed the first time he did it,

My mom did too when I told her the story.

“He’s so sweet and protective of you, honey,” she said.

I smiled back up at her, my mom the feminist.

It felt a bit ironic.

My mom, the feminist who thinks it’s cute that my boyfriend comments on my clothing when he isn’t in approval of it

He has the right to tell me if my shirt is too low because he is just being protective.

Protective of what?

Protective of other guys looking at my chest? Because that’s what my body is right? Something to be looked at.

An object that needs to be covered up in order to be taken care of. An object that’s only purpose is too be looked at.

So why for any reason would I wear a shirt that is a little lower than usual other than to objectify myself?

Maybe…

I just like the shirt.

I know my boyfriend was just being protective,

But why aren’t I protective of him in this way?

Maybe because masculinity, means me not questioning what guys wear.

But for girls, it seems to be the opposite.

Femininity is ironic,

it is sexy but innocent.

It is vulnerable.

And it must be protected.

And society has given men the job of protecting women’s bodies.

It’s not just my boyfriend who has commented on my clothing, my guy friends have too, and I see it happen to my other girl friends as well.

But what guys don’t realize

Is that their ‘protection’ of our bodies,

Takes away our right to them.

It takes away my right to wear whatever shirt I want.

Maybe because I feel beautiful it in.

Maybe because I feel strong in it.

Or maybe, I just really like its gold shimmery pattern that is filled with little red triangles. 

I am learning to be strong in my own body. To remember that it is my body and no one else's. I have the power to do whatever I want with my body and no one else can have that power over me. I am learning to love my body and respect my body. My body is what I see the world through and through which I interact with the world. 

If you are ever feeling like you are not in control of your body or struggling with valuing it, you can call Teen Link to talk it out. Just like you can call us for any other reason. We are an anonymous phone line for teens and answered by teens. The people on the line are there to listen—no matter how big or small the issue. Teen Link’s number is 1 (866) 833 – 6546. The line is open every night from 6 – 10 P.M. If you prefer to chat, visit www.866teenlink.org. Chat is available all week. 

And always remember, you are beautiful.

I See Nothing But UGLY

Another Day

I take a look in the mirror

I see nothing but ugly

That girl from school is right, I am fat

She sits across from me every day at lunch

“You’re too big, you shouldn’t be eating”

I swallow my last bite and push my meal away

She watches my every move and laughs

I look back in the mirror and hold back my tears

Repeat the same day

Another comment

Another tear

Moving to a new school in a new town

“I’m safe now; everything is going to be okay”

I spoke too soon

Another bully

More Tears

I stopped eating lunch to avoid the comments

I stopped eating even after the bullying ended

Yet I couldn’t eat in front of anyone

I was afraid of another scar

Open your eyes and tell me what you see. Many would say an overweight, ugly boy/girl. We look at media and see tall, thin models. We walk around the mall and visit stores that apparently only cater to size 0. Boys at school going for the petite girls. Girls going for the muscular boys. And at the end of the day we look in the mirror and assume we are ugly because of our “imperfections.” In reality we are all beautiful.

Media brainwashes society to make us believe that, “that girl” on T.V, whose bones are showing, is pretty. Or that store you tried to buy clothes from isn’t made for you because you’re not skinny enough. In reality “that girl” on T.V is unhealthy and most likely unhappy. The store that didn’t have your size didn’t realize you could look good in those clothes too and is missing out on your business. But you can be the smarter one and treat everyone equally. You can realize that everyone is beautiful no matter what size they wear or how much they weigh. Look deeper into their character, don’t stop at skin deep. Be human. Be yourself. Believe in a better day where everyone will be able to accept true beauty.

“If you spent your whole life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it?” – Jodi Picoult

If you ever feel insecure and you want to talk about it, call TeenLink. We are an anonymous phone line for teens and answered by teens. The people on the line are here to listen—no matter how big or small the issue. Teen Link’s number is 1 (866) 833 – 6546. The line is open every night from 6 – 10 P.M. If you prefer to chat, visit www.866teenlink.org. Chat is available all week. You matter.