"Your shirts too low."

My boyfriend raises his eyebrows at me, “That shirt is pretty low,” he says.

It was my shimmery gold shirt,

The one filled with little red triangles and intricate designs,

one of my favorites.

My boyfriend had commented on my shirt being "too low,"

or my pants being "too tight," before.

I laughed the first time he did it,

My mom did too when I told her the story.

“He’s so sweet and protective of you, honey,” she said.

I smiled back up at her, my mom the feminist.

It felt a bit ironic.

My mom, the feminist who thinks it’s cute that my boyfriend comments on my clothing when he isn’t in approval of it

He has the right to tell me if my shirt is too low because he is just being protective.

Protective of what?

Protective of other guys looking at my chest? Because that’s what my body is right? Something to be looked at.

An object that needs to be covered up in order to be taken care of. An object that’s only purpose is too be looked at.

So why for any reason would I wear a shirt that is a little lower than usual other than to objectify myself?

Maybe…

I just like the shirt.

I know my boyfriend was just being protective,

But why aren’t I protective of him in this way?

Maybe because masculinity, means me not questioning what guys wear.

But for girls, it seems to be the opposite.

Femininity is ironic,

it is sexy but innocent.

It is vulnerable.

And it must be protected.

And society has given men the job of protecting women’s bodies.

It’s not just my boyfriend who has commented on my clothing, my guy friends have too, and I see it happen to my other girl friends as well.

But what guys don’t realize

Is that their ‘protection’ of our bodies,

Takes away our right to them.

It takes away my right to wear whatever shirt I want.

Maybe because I feel beautiful it in.

Maybe because I feel strong in it.

Or maybe, I just really like its gold shimmery pattern that is filled with little red triangles. 

I am learning to be strong in my own body. To remember that it is my body and no one else's. I have the power to do whatever I want with my body and no one else can have that power over me. I am learning to love my body and respect my body. My body is what I see the world through and through which I interact with the world. 

If you are ever feeling like you are not in control of your body or struggling with valuing it, you can call Teen Link to talk it out. Just like you can call us for any other reason. We are an anonymous phone line for teens and answered by teens. The people on the line are there to listen—no matter how big or small the issue. Teen Link’s number is 1 (866) 833 – 6546. The line is open every night from 6 – 10 P.M. If you prefer to chat, visit www.866teenlink.org. Chat is available all week. 

And always remember, you are beautiful.

Get Tested!

Knowledge is power and a group of teens at Newport High School work to empower other teens with the knowledge they need to protect themselves against HIV and other STDs.

This group is called ASPEN (AIDS Student Peer Educators of Newport) and they teach STD prevention and HIV awareness lessons in health classes at area high schools on the Eastside.

The focus is to not only prevent HIV transmission but to also tackle the misconceptions and stigma associated with HIV. HIV is only spread through the 5 infecting fluids; blood, semen, vaginal secretions, breast milk and cowper's fluid (which is a pre-ejaculate). This means that HIV cannot be spread by sharing food, kissing, holding hands, hugging, through public restrooms and other avenues of casual contact.

In addition ASPEN fundraises money for the Lifelong AIDS Alliance and commemorates World AIDS Day at Newport. For the past 6 years this group of 26 students have been the top fundraising team at the Seattle AIDS Walk, beating top companies like Starbucks and Microsoft.

They are passionate about the work they do because they realize how real the issue is to their own lives. STD and HIV transmission is very much prevalent among teens, with 2 teens infected with HIV every hour.

There are three main ways of protecting yourself that ASPEN highlights, three secrets to keeping yourself safe.

1. Barrier contraception: The most popular form of barrier contraception is the male condom. Other types include dental dams which are used for vaginal oral sex. A common misconception among teens is that transmission through oral sex doesn't occur, when in fact, almost all STDs can be passed through oral sex.

2. Abstinence: This doesn't just include abstinence from sex, but also other risky behaviors such as shared needle use and oral sex. This is the only 100% way to protect yourself.

3. Getting Tested! This one is the most important. STD and HIV tests are FREE for teens at public clinics such as Eastgate Public Health on the Eastside and most STD tests are as easy as peeing in a cup.  For an HIV test, if you are afraid of needles you can still get tested by simply swabbing the inside of your cheek. Visiting the Teen Clinic is also a great way to get free birth control and free barrier contraception. Encourage your sexual partner should be tested as well, to protect yourself. The Center for Disease Control reports that 1 in 5 people with HIV are unaware they have it, and spreading it to more people. Getting tested is the only way to slow this disease, and make sure YOU are safe.
                                  

For more questions on a teen clinic near you or any questions on HIV and other STDs feel free to call Teen Link! 1866-833-6546.