“I think you are too young to know this,” he shifted in his chair, 2763 miles away. “It would be best if you saw a counselor.”
“No, this is a part of me.” The words dragged visibly on the computer screen, lagging slightly. My throat tightened. “I’m attracted to girls,” I asserted in sign language.
Webcam communication was far from ideal, but my father lived on the other side of the country. He moved away when I was ten and rarely visited; he didn’t know me. Furthermore, my old school Asian parents were hearing-impaired conservative baby-boomers. They didn’t approve; the Great Wall of generation gaps and traditional culture stood in the way.
And here I was, their uncomfortably self-aware, first generation Asian-American daughter who had just spent the day immersing herself in an environment alive with optimism and acceptance: Seattle’s Gay Pride Festival.
That day, I explored a new facet of myself that I welcomed with curiosity and fascination. After a three-mile trek and an hour crammed on a sweaty bus, I arrived. The Seattle Center was a breath of new found liberty and immediate comfort. The feeling resonated with me. Whatever hesitation I felt washed away as I stood by the central fountain. I christened myself as a part of the community, and we celebrated.
However liberated I felt at Pride, I understood that it wasn’t something I could magically shape into anything my parents could understand. We were the old and the new, separated by religious values and varying degrees of education. I wanted them to know, to love me regardless of my sexuality. I didn’t understand why I had to convince them otherwise or why I had to hide this incredible part of myself from the rest of my family. This is who I am. I trusted my feelings. I knew, but I couldn’t explain it; the words were too slippery to describe.
Here I am now. Define sexuality?
My sexuality is a revolution. It is a dinner table conversation. By coming out, I surrendered who I was, to the person I always was.
I am far greater than a definition. I am multi-dimensional. I strive to transcend the social ideals. I’ll never wait to be old enough to know better. Here I am. My sexuality is a revolution.
Teen Link wants to recognize all the courageous youth who are coming out and finding pride in being who they are in a world that isn't always accepting.
We wanted to let you know that we are behind you.
Teen Link in open every night from 6-10pm if you ever want a safe place to talk.
Also, below we have included a list of other helpful resources for LBGTQ youth:
- Camp for queer youth or youth coming from queer families/gay parents-http://camptentrees.org
- LBGTQ Youth Center on Capitol Hill- http://www.lamberthouse.org/
- Ingersoll Gender Center for Trans Youth/Adults- http://www.ingersollcenter.org
- Seattle Counseling Services for Sexual Minorities: http://www.seattlecounseling.org
LASTLY but definitely not least:
For more information on the new Equal Marriage Bill that was just signed today see: