Girls are not always made of sugar and spice. And everything nice...

            Bullying has been an issue in schools probably since schools began. But in today’s modern world, childish playground bullying isn’t the big issue anymore, girl to girl bullying is. Coming from a teenage girl, there is something to be said for this type of girl to girl conflict.  

Any girl can attest to it: that stare from across the room, that whisper at a party, that rumor that came out of thin air.

This type of bullying has received a lot of media attention over the last few years due to the increasing violence of this type of bullying, some cases involving YouTube videos of girls beating up other girls and even highly-publicized suicides.

            Two college graduates decided to make a change to this. Molly and Lauren, both having dealt with their share of girl drama and bullying in both Middle and High School created the “Kind Campaign.” Not aware of the impact they would make on the entire nation, they set out on a roadtrip across America documenting the conversations they encountered with groups of girls in schools, their homes, and personal stories. They developed a documentary based on their first roadtrip (they have had two more since the documentary came out) and make appearances showing it to groups all around America and even Canada. In addition to all of this, they have come up with a  
curriculum centered around realizing the ways we have hurt others and allowing a time and space for apologies and revelations to take place.

            Having gone to one of the showings of their documentary “Finding Kind,” I can honestly say it is amazing what Molly and Lauren have started. They have drawn attention to something every single girl experiences in school, something so simple, and made real progress changing this in schools across America. The film made me truly realize we must be more conscious of how we treat others, and several of my friends who also went were able to restore friendships and re-evaluate the conflicts they have had. The emotional nature of the film deeply touched many in the group I went. Several shared their personal stories to the large group. At the very end, Lauren and Molly themselves made an appearance and lead a discussion. They were two of the most genuine and good-willed people I have ever had the fortune of meeting, and it is apparent they love what they do and will continue to do it for a long time.

            If “FindingKind” is being shown anywhere near you I highly encourage you to check it out!

Here are some other resources that focus on female friendships, leadership, and empowerment for young girls and women.

YWCA- Girls First

The mission of YWCA GirlsFirst^SM is to encourage leadership, instill confidence, develop skills, and provide opportunities to girls of color.

Contact:  Sumayya Diop at 206.568.7855 or sdiop@ywcaworks.org; www.ymcaworks.org

Powerful Voices

Powerful Voices fosters adolescent girls' development by providing programs and promoting
social justice so girls can realize their dreams, engage their communities and shape a better world.
Also, Girlvoluntion is coming up this weekend, April 13 from 9:30am to 3pm. Check out their facebook page to find out more: http://www.facebook.com/events/220508314755864/.

Contact: (206)860-1026 or info@powerfulvoices.org; http://www.powerfulvoices.org/

Young Women on the Rise

 In this seven-month creative leadership program, young women will gain the skills and confidence to make a difference in their schools and communities. The program is based on the premise that our world needs the energy and creativity of young people. Through Young Women on the Rise participants will uncover their leadership potential and move to action.

Contact: Michelle at 206-938-6090 or michelle@powerofhope.org; http://www.powerofhope.org/programs/youth-programs/young-women-rise

 

Also, if you are having trouble with bullying or issues with a friend and you just want to talk to someone about it Teen link is open every night from 6-10pm.
(866) TEENLINK (833-6546) or (206)461-4922

Or visit our website to use our online chat service at  WWW.866TEENLINK.ORG

Blood

Blood.  For some, the word represents life.  For others, pain, or even death.  Whatever it is to you, one thing is for sure: every two seconds, somebody in the US needs it.  Unfortunately, we cannot yet manufacture artificial blood, so the only source for people who need it, is donations.  Every day, more than 44,000 blood donations are needed in the US.

According to the American Red Cross, the two most common reasons people give as to why they do not give blood are: "Never thought about it" and "I don't like needles."  I hope I can have just a couple minutes of your time to address both of these.

The first, "Never thought about it," is easy.  Now you have.  If you live in the Seattle area, the Puget Sound Blood Center is an excellent place to donate.  Another way is through school.  The statistic that I always here when it comes time to do a school wide drive is that each donation saves three lives.  In addition, I have been told that high schools account for most of the Puget Sound Blood Center's donations.  As long as you are at least 16, and have parental permission, you can help make a significant difference in the lives of accident victims, sickle cell patients, and cancer patients.

Now, the second reason, "I don't like needles," is a bit harder to address.  I understand that if you do not like needles, giving blood would not be a fun thing to do.  The best I can do is to explain how it works.  When I give blood, I walk in, sign in, and fill out a form about how I'm feeling and if I'm currently on any medications.  Next, a doctor takes me into a private room to check if I am OK to give blood that day.  The doctor takes my pulse, blood pressure, and a small blood sample from a prick on my finger.  When this is done, I go out to a special chair, and the doctor cleans the arm I will be using.  Next, he or she puts the needle in.  It does sting a bit, but I find that it's not so bad if I look away and clench my jaw.  After a few minutes, they take out the needle, and I get cookies.  All in all, it's relatively painless, safe, and I get to feel good about myself after.

I should probably wrap this up with a conclusion, but it's already a bit longer that I was hoping for.  So, I will leave you with the following resources:
The Puget Sound Blood Center
The American Red Cross Blood facts and stats
As always, feel free to call Teen Link to talk it out with another teen if you are feeling unsure about donating blood, or for any other reason: 1 866 TEENLINK (1.866.833.6546)

Chronic Illness as a Disability

I have a friend who has been suffering with kidney problems for more than a year now. She gets sick with no warning, runs high fevers, has very little immune system and suffers chronic back pain. She visited the hospital more than 50 times this year. Like any other college kids, she wants to be focusing on school and a career, spending time with friends, partying, seeing her boyfriend. Sometimes she does that. Sometimes however, her illness causes her to miss class or work, do poorly on tests, and

stay home in bed while her friends are doing fun things.

This isn’t a disability like autism that has a culture and a body of knowledge around it. Neither is it really obvious to people around her, day to day. But people who suffer chronic illness can attest that it absolutely fits the definition of disability – something that interferes with normal activities or behavior. Illness is a largely unrecognized category of disability, outside of the communities of those afflicted.

Even small things like allergies can require a surprising amount of energy and fortitude to deal with. I am badly lactose intolerant. I can’t have pizza, lasagna, mac ‘n’ cheese, cheese sandwiches, yogurt, cereal, ice-cream. There are plenty of other delicious foods out there, and I made my peace with it a long time ago, but it means when I go to a party, I have to pack myself a dinner because chances are 99 out of 100 that the meal will be pizza. When my friends want to go out for ice cream, I can’t go along. It is both stressful and isolating. Something lots of people take for granted takes an extra dose of energy and attention for me.

For someone whose chronic illness is not easily controlled, and affects their entire life, that is magnified hugely. My friend is energetic, outgoing, a club leader and active in her religious community. To meet her, you would have no idea that she struggles to find energy for minor tasks, to finish her schoolwork when she is feeling sick, to pay huge medical bills on top of tuition and living costs.

You can’t always tell when someone is sick, or struggling for some other reason. Something you can do is say “How are you?” and you mean it. Don’t judge people too harshly for not brushing their hair, or getting poor grades, or always staying home. People with chronic illnesses don’t fail to do things, they accomplish much more than healthy people ever do, when each day is a victory.

Stop the Body Hate: A Fight for All Bodies

Is it any wonder that people develop body image issues when we grow up with this THIS!

We are bombarded with messages every day that teach us how to be "better," to change ourselves, but most of all, to hate ourselves. We are told that we are not good enough the way we are-- we need to be bigger, thinner, whiter, more symmetrical, less ethnic, more exotic, flawless, more muscular, curvacious, etc. These unrealistic expectations make us judge ourselves and others, make us say hateful things, and think cruel thoughts. These messages from the media and popular culture are hurting us. They want to take our bodies, to own them. They want to strip us of our culture, our free will, our self respect, our pleasure, and our dignity. They are using us and our bodies as something to be bought and sold. When do we say ENOUGH!
If you are ready, join the movement toward Body Sovereignty.

Body Sovereignty is for everyone.
I am the owner of my body. I decide what is done to it and how it is treated.
I have a right to modify or decline to modify my body in order to best express myself.
My moral value is independent of my weight or appearance.
My body is an instrument, not an ornament.
I will eat what I want.
I will not allow anyone to shame my body or my self, or the body and selves of others.
My body deserves pleasure.
I have the right to know and define my body.
I will recognize that the bodies I’m attracted to aren’t the only attractive bodies.
Every body has a claim to beauty.
I will affirm and support the personhood of others.
I will never apologize for my weight or how my body looks.
I will recognize the privileges my body has.
I will celebrate the abilities of my body, even if they are different from others.
My body is a part of my self and my being. I will treat it and nurture it as such.
 http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/u/robocoko/2010/1/20/Body-Sovereignty-Manifesto

Body Sovereignty for:  

•    Our ethnic and brown bodies:  

Minority women deal with body stereotype

Color of Beauty video

• Our queer and trans bodies 

Body image and anti-colonialism

My body  my clothes my health

•  Our female bodies

Our vulvas ourselves

     No more hunger games unlearning a lifetime of habits and societal norms with intuitive eating

• Our male bodies

   The beauty myth for men

   Enhancing male body image 

•   Our differently abled body

    Conversations about body image a place at the table for me  

    Passionate for inclusive fashion

All of our bodies are unique and we all will follow our own journey toward understanding and acceptance.
Take a moment-   Look at yourself in the mirror for one minute and hold a strong position. Like Superman/ Wonder woman, fists raised, teeth bared. You are a fighter. Studies show this builds confidence. Check this out à http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc

Everyone has their own battles to fight. We may not fully understand the stories of each other bodies, but we need to be willing to listen, hear, and acknowledge all stories. If we continue to perpetrate body hate against people because they do not look like ourselves or because they do not meet the unrealistic, ethnocentric and narrow standards of beauty in the U.S. then we are contributing to this war.  


Sources: 
http://www.adiosbarbie.com/
http://youuniversityonline.com/7-secrets-to-overcome-body-self-image-issues
Body Image: Self Acceptance vs Imperfection by Desiree Capri King

The Dreaded V-Day

As I move my mouse to the bottom right of my screen and click open the calendar, the daunting number continues to frighten me. It seems like just weeks ago it was only a rumor, with girls giggling in the hall way and guys actually starting to care about the way they dress. The date has my most dreaded day in most years, a day when I would be singled out and judged ( whether jokingly or seriously). A day filled with pink heart-shaped stickers and rainbow bouquets of expensive roses. As the price of the chocolate at QFC go higher and higher, my expectations sink lower and lower. Seems like I am going to be alone this year, again. For those of you that haven't yet caught my drift, yes I am indeed talking about the one and only valentine's day.

 First thing's first, I must clarify that, indeed, I am a guy. At this point many of you have probably snickered or outright laughed at me. It seems that obviously, since I am a guy, I should be out there aggressively seeking out a date or hanging out with someone special on February 14. People seem to think that only single girls feel lonely and sit crying next to a box of chocolates (not saying that I do this) on the big V Day. But a day that reminds us lowly single people, how single we really are, isn't necessarily a day I personally look forward to. As one of my clever friends has termed it, Valentine's Day is essentially a Single-Awareness day for those of us not fortunate enough to have a date or a person to be with.

Not only can we not stop thinking about our ex(es) (for those of us fortunate, or perhaps unfortunate, enough to have one) , but we are also forced to endure expansive public displays of affection ranging from a simple peck on the cheek to a flat-out make out session next to the lockers. Roses, balloons, chocolates, and heart shaped cards float around the halls. Friends laugh and joke about who they're spending the night with and teachers continuously try to embarrass the two most awkward students in a joking attempt to set them up for a date. It's different for all of us, and it really is hard to explain why we feel the way we do to someone who hasn't walked our same path.

In fact, even for those who are already happily with a partner, valentine's day could be an extremely stressful time. High expectations from our lover could often lead to strategic planning weeks ahead of the big date. Many would be counting the bills in their wallet, praying that it would be enough to endure the onslaught of chocolate, roses, and fancy dinner bills. Other's might be feverishly trying out clothes at every clothing store possible. Pink, red, blue, or purple. Which shoes match with which top that match with their eye color. True, for those that claim to be a couple, the day is still one to be celebrated, whether willingly or not. After all, it is a day of love and bonding, a day where people recognize how deep (or shallow) their love is for each other. Sigh, if only more of us can celebrate this bond.

Well, this year I am definitely not part of the lovebird crowd. I can't say that reading this blog post would make anyone feel any better but hey, at least us singles can stick together and tread through this holiday! I'm not going to give some cheesy advice like "try hanging out with your friends" or "read a good book", those aren't usually helpful and more often than not are more easily said than done.

However, do feel free to call Teen Link if you feel like you want to talk to vent or just to talk to someone. Hey, even if we can't be your valentine's date or make one magically appear on your door step, we're definitely hear to listen and to care about you, as you are.

Teen Link is open 6-10pm, every night, and we will be on chat tonight as well. Our number is 866TeenLink (833-6546) and our website, where you can access chat is www.866teenlink.org. I hope you can at least show yourself some love today!