Dating Violence
Red Flags of Teen Dating Violence
For friends…
- Their boyfriend/girlfriend calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
- Their boyfriend/girlfriend acts extremely jealous when they talk to friends of the opposite sex, even when it is completely innocent.
- Your friend often cancels plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
- Your friend frequently apologizes for their boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend is constantly checking up on them, calling or texting and demanding to know where they have been.
- You’ve seen the boyfriend/girlfriend lose their temper, maybe even get violent when they’re mad.
- Your friend is always worried about upsetting their boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Your friend is giving up things that used to be important to them, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
- Your friend’s weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
- Your friend has injuries they can’t explain, or the explanations they give don’t add up.
What you can do if you know someone in an abusive relationship:
It’s important to realize that it isn’t easy to leave an abusive relationship. Make sure to keep in contact with your friend, since abusers often try to cut off their close relationships. They may be defensive when you bring up the topic, but try to show concern for your friend. Call the police if you think that your friend is in serious physical danger. If your friend leaves the abusive relationship, it is important to be very supportive to them.
If you have a friend who you notice is being abusive or controling to their partner take that step up and say something. Sitting by and watching our friends treat their significant others with disrespect isn't fun. By allowing this to happen we are signaling that is okay for them to do this kind of behavior. Domestic violence can ruin the lives of the victims, as well as their abusers. To break this cycle we need to step up and help people on both sides learn that this kind of behavior isn't okay before they do something that may permanently hurt their partner and themselves.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is a confidential and anonymous hotline that is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. On their website, they are aware that computers could be monitored so they even give the option to quickly escape the page, and give them the hotline number:
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or
TTY 1−800−787−3224
The website has resources for those seeking help in your specific area and have guidelines for safety planning, personal safety with an abuser, and guidelines for leaving an abusive relationship.
The Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (WSCADV) is another resource for domestic violence. It assists domestic violence victims and their families. It also gives the option to quickly leave the website for those who are worried about computer monitoring. WSCADV informs prevention and education organizations, government agencies, the media and others about domestic violence.
800-562-6025 — Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.wscadv.org/index.cfm
It provides a list of programs for victims of domestic violence depending on your county (in Washington State). It also offers links to helpful websites such as getmoneygetsafe.org, which is a website for survivors and advocates to help make ends meet and how to stay safe at work.
