Writing - A Coping Strategy

“At the age of five, my parents divorced and a writer was born,” said Rayda Jacobs in her 2011 article in Writers Weekly. The article is titled Writing as a Coping Mechanism and in it Jacobs talks about growing up in apartheid South Africa and how writing helped her cope through her difficulties. This is something I can closely relate to because not only did my parents divorce when I was seven years old, but writing is something that has been an important aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. “Expressive writing is a powerful technique used successfully to confront traumatic life events. Beneficial effects of expressive writing include understanding why feelings occur,” stated professor Barlow Soper in an article titled Employment Counseling and Life Stressors: Coping Through expressive writing.

The beautiful thing about writing is that is has no rules and can be something very personal. I have used writing as a coping mechanism for various issues that have arisen in my life; most of the time I don’t have a plan for what I’m going to write but I just start putting words onto the paper. Sometimes those words turn into a poem, sometimes into a short story, and sometimes into a jumbled mess of disconnected words that wouldn’t make sense to anybody else but me.

Writing is something that we can all do, something that we can share if we want to, or something that we can stuff into our pillowcases and make sure that no ones ever sees. One of the reasons writing can be so powerful is that it can help you identify and express your feelings. We don’t all have outlets in our lives that allow us to talk openly about our feelings – and writing can be that outlet.

When I was at summer camp one year, I was in a cabin with three other girls. We all have these girls in our lives, in one form or another. The girls that stick together in a bubble that you seem to never be able to break. The girls that make you feel like trash and just when you think you might have become their friend, their bubble bounces you right back to the garbage dump. Camp was awful that year and the only way I got thought it was writing. Every night in bed I would write a letter to myself. I would tell myself that I didn’t want to be friends with these girls anyways and that I had real friends back home. I would tell myself that I wasn’t trash and that I was strong.

I suggest that you try writing. It is something that not only helps you cope through the hard times, but something that helps you celebrate through the good. Writing might not be for everyone, but it sure was a life-changer for me.

If you ever want to share your thoughts with someone or feel that writing would be a better way to talk through things you are struggling with, Teen Link has an online chat service that allows for this other side of expression. The online chat is open Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday every week from 6-10pm. It is easy to access. You just go to the website,  http://www.866teenlink.org/, and click on the chat option in the bottom right hand corner. When the chat is not open it will let you know the next time it will open up. 

The scoop on the Trevor Project

ORGANIZATION: The Trevor Project          

HOURS:24/7

MAIN CONTACT:None (Just call the line to talk to someone awesome)

RATING: 5/5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGOssnBADo&feature=relmfu

The Trevor project has various programs dedicated to the improvement of the lives of LGBTQ youth and workshops to better educate and train those interested how to address topics like sexual orientation and gender identity, skills to prevent suicide in schools, as well as how language and behavior can impact LGBTQ youth. 

A major part of the project is the Trevor Lifeline which is the “only nationwide, around-the-clock suicide prevention and crisis intervention lifeline for LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7. Volunteer Lifeline counselors staff three call centers” (Trevor Project Website). The number is 1-866-488-7386 (U.S. calls only). 

It is similar to Teen Link in the way that they have helpline and other online services, but the Trevor Project is directed specifically at helping LGBTQ youth. They also offer an online chat service called Trevorchat that runs form Mondays and Fridays between 1:00 PM Pacific (4:00 PM Eastern) and 9:00 PM Pacific (12:00 AM Eastern). In addition to that, they have “Ask Trevor” an online Q and A submission program, and Trevor Space which is a social networking site for LGBTQ youth ages 13-24 and their friends and allies to foster a safe online community at www.trevorspace.org.

   

The Trevor Project has a whole host of volunteer opportunities but unfortunately you must be at least 18 years old to apply. If you want more information about volunteering check out this link: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/volunteers/opportunities.

They have an awesome website with a ton of information http://www.thetrevorproject.org. They are a pretty large organization and since they are based in Hollywood, California they also have a large community of celebrities that support them and attend big Trevor Project events which is pretty cool. From their website you can really tell that if you’re calling, you certainly aren’t alone because they get tens of thousands of calls each year and have fielded 200,000+ lifeline calls since the beginning of the organization in 1998, and there are 23,000+ Trevor Space members. 

There’s also a big group of people working to make the Trevor Project as great as possible including 600+ Active volunteers and 200+ Lifeline counselors. They even have a page on their website devoted to letting people know about their staff: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/staff. This includes profiles on the members with information like who their favorite LGBTQ hero is, which truly makes their organization seem more real. 

The Trevor project seems like a really great organization that was definitely founded with the needs of LGBTQ youth in mind. They seem very professional, but at the same time, very real and down to earth.

Love knows no gender, race, or color.

For the straight ally, navigating LGBTQ issues can sometimes feel like you're drowning in alphabet soup. That's okay.

You aren’t expected to completely understand every LGBTQ concern. Just like I can't be expected to know what it's like to be male, or be a person of color, or be adopted. What you and I can do is this:

Stop and think.

Listen and try to understand where LGBTQ teens are coming from.

 Be kind.

Stop and think…about what pronouns you use. Realize it's easy to make little assumptions when talking to others. If a new friend mentions she's dating someone, don't ask “What's his name?” Instead, ask “Who?” Otherwise, you assume that every girl likes boys. It seems like a harmless assumption, but it can be frustrating for LGBTQ teens. It can feel as if they’re expected to be straight. It can make them feel not normal for not being straight. You won't mean to exclude someone, but sneaky, presumptive pronouns can do that for you.

Listen and try to understand where LGBTQ teens are coming from... Understand that you have some privileges that LGBTQ teens don't have. You will be able to legally marry whomever you decide to marry. You won’t risk getting kicked out of your house for your sexuality. You won’t have to think about which public restroom to use. You won’t be twice as likely to be bullied at school. You can feel comfortable holding your significant other’s hand in public. You won’t risk losing your friends based on your sexuality. This is just a small portion of a very long list. LGBTQ teens face a lot of barriers that you won’t face. Keep that in mind and it will help you be more supportive. Seattle may seem like a gay-friendly city to you, but it’s hard to be LGBTQ anywhere.

Be Kind...LGBTQ teens do face exclusion and barriers, but you can support them. Be there for them like you would be for any friend. Be a listener. Stand up for them. When you hear someone say “That’s so gay,” you can tell them it’s not okay to make gay a synonym for stupid/annoying/bad. Above all, see the person behind the LGBTQ label. You don’t have “gay friends” and “lesbian friends” and “trans friends” and “straight friends;” you just have “friends.” 

 If you would like to learn more about how to support your friends or yourself. Teen Link is open every night from 6-10pm. Just in case you needed a reminder, Teen Link is a help line for teens and answered by teens. We are here to support you wherever you are at and however you are feeling. We are anonymous, confidential and Most importantly, non-judgmental. And, we are teenagers too… we get it. So, give us a call.

1866-TEENLINK (833-6546) or visit our chat service at http://www.866teenlink.org/

RAINBOW SUMMER: Queer Youth Pride Events and MORE

In honor of Pride Month,  

Teen Link has found some really interesting sites and events for queer youth. We love that we live in a city where all youth are supported and have the chance to get involved in something they are passionate about!
Check out the links below and get your summer off to a colorful start.

Youth Pride Dance- Friday, June 22nd from 8pm to 11pm

Fun for everyone! Food! Drinks! Music!
Have fun the night before Pride! With Guest DJ Alex!
Ages 20 and under. Tickets are $5 Pre-ordered and $10 suggested donation at door. Buy your tickets at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/253313

Join the fun at the Yesler Community Center, 917 E Yesler Way, Seattle

Diverse Harmony-  http://www.diverseharmony.org/ 

Diverse Harmony was founded in 2002 and is very unique in that it is a gay/straight alliance chorus. Diverse Harmony works to create safe and friendly environment through music and puts on performances regularly in Seattle

Reel Queer Youth- http://threedollarbillcinema.org/programs/RQY/

For those interested in filmmaking, Reel Queer Youth is a program that provides video production and media literacy training for queer youth between the ages of 13 – 20. To be a part of the program you have to apply by June 30th .

Queer Teen Ensemble Theatre- http://www.washingtonensemble.org/season8/qtet2012

The Queer Teen Ensemble Theatre is a group of young actors supported by the Washington Ensemble Theatre who advocate for queer youth through their work on the stage. The QTET’s summer production, Beyond Boxes, is showing this weekend only, from June 21- June 25 at 7:30 pm at the Washington Ensemble Theatre, and on Saturday June 23rd youth under 25 can see the show FOR FREE

Bend-It Extravaganza- http://www.seattleactivism.org/events/event378.htm

 Bend-It Extravaganza is an arts festival happening August 8 – 10 in Seattle and it is put on by queer youth. The festival is an amazing event that hopes to empower queer youth and their allies with workshops, spoken word, drag, public art, films, and music.
 

Out There Poetry Camp: www.outtherepoetrycamp.com

Saturday, June 30 - sign up deadline

Free!

Week long poetry and creative expression camp for Queer Youth and Allies ages 14 - 20.

Dates: July 9 - 13, 2012

Time: 10 am - 4 pm

Where: Langston Hughes Performing Arts Center

104 ~ 17th Avenue S, Seattle, WA 98144

What: Daily session on Queer Identity, Writing Exercise, Lunch with local Poets (like WA State Poet Laureate Kathleen Flenniken), and Creative Expression (lyrics, dance, you name it!). Lunch included.

Contact Randy at 206-883-6110 or randy.wiger@seattle.gov or Gray at outtherepoetrycamp@gmail.com

Capitol Hill Independence Day Community Picnic: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cal-Anderson-Park/111353102220933?ref=ts

Saturday, July 7 

Noon - 5 pm

Cal Anderson Park

1635 11th Avenue, Seattle, WA

(between E Denny Way and E Pine Street)

Free!

Community picnic, live music, and fun booths!

Born This Way Kafé:  Summer Beach Blanket BINGO & Barbeque Party: www.facebook.com/SeattleParksCOD or contact randy.wiger@seattle.gov, 206-883-6110

Friday, July 20, 6 - 8 pm

Cal Anderson Park Shelterhouse

on the north edge of the athletic field

1635 11th Avenue, Seattle, WA

(between E Denny Way and E Pine Street)

Free!

BINGO, bracelet making, badminton/volleyball start at 5:30 pm.

Food, hamburgers, hot dogs, veggie burgers and more start at 6 pm.

Born This Way Kafé: a welcoming place where GLBTQ youth + Friends + Allies up to age 21 can gather, be themselves, and have fun.

SYPP’s Summer Youth Organizing Institute: http://sypp.org or www.facebook.com/sypp206

Friday, July 27 - sign up deadline

Free!

The YO! is a youth leadership program/8-day social justice training camp for and by youth that takes place August 20-27, 2012.  A program of Seattle Young People's Project.

Contact:  info@sypp.org or 206.860.9606

Outdoor Movies at Cal Anderson Park: http://threedollarbillcinema.org/calendar/road-trip/ or www.facebook.com/ThreeDollarBillCinema
Fridays, July 27 - August 17

Movies start at dusk, about 8:30 pm

1635 11th Avenue, Seattle, WA (between E Denny Way and E Pine Street)

Free! 

Bring your own chair or blanket!

July 27 Pee Wee's Big Adventure

August 3 Viva Las Vegas (Elvis!)

August 10 The Wizard of Oz

August 17 The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Contact: info@threedollarbillcinema.org or 206-323-4274

Camp ten trees- http://www.camptentrees.org/index.html

Have you ever wanted to go to gay camp? Well here is your chance! Camp Ten Trees has yearly summer camp sessions -- one week for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth and their allies (Aug. 19-25)and another week for the children of LGBTQ and/or non-traditional families (Aug. 12-18). Camp Ten Trees is a place for diverse youth who share common experiences to come together and form a community that is truly their own.  In addition to typical camp activities, campers engage in age-appropriate workshops exploring identity,  diversity, homophobia, youth coalition building, and more.

Lambert House:http://lamberthouse.org

1818 ~ 15th Avenue, Seattle, WA  98122

Drop in Monday through Friday anytime from 4 to 9:30 and meet other amazing queer and allied youth. They have different activities going on every night of the week. Queer movie night on Fridays is my personal favorite.

They also have a great list of queer resources on their website 

www.facebook.com/LambertHouse

activities@lamberthouse.org

206-322-2515

Special thanks to Lambert House for helping to collect this list of amazing fun events for youth!

 Teen Link is open every night from 6-10pm. We are here to support you wherever you are at and however you are feeling. We are anonymous, confidential and Most importantly, non-judgmental. And, we are teenagers too… we get it. So, give us a call.

1866-TEENLINK (833-6546) or visit our chat service at http://www.866teenlink.org/

HAPPY PRIDE!

Self-Struggle

In life, there will always be things that are stressful for every person at one point or another. In my life, I am a huge perfectionist and judge myself when any little thing goes wrong or I have a problem. I set unattainable goals and standards for myself, and when I don't meet these, I feel like such a failure. I know that some other teens can relate to this sense of pressure to succeed and to meet our own, as well as, others expectations. If you are one of those people and are often hard on yourself for not being a certain way, keep reading.

In my experience, perfectionists aren’t necessarily concerned with being perfect in every aspect of their life. Sometimes it is that they feel pressured by themselves to do one or two things really well, or strive to be better in some way. Some of these self- inflicted pressures could be getting good grades and being smart, fitting in with your gender stereotype, body image/wishing you looked differently, class status, and the list goes on and on. But for me, many of those attributes apply. I wish I was skinnier, more athletic, a better friend, smarter, a better girlfriend, and just overall a person who people look up to. However, last night I had an experience that changed all of my views on myself. It was my 16th Birthday, and two of my friends put together a video of interviews of all my friends saying why they cared about me as a person. Many of them mentioned that I was smart, funny, so sweet, genuine, gorgeous, and an amazing friend. While I sat there watching this video, I felt so blessed to have people who thought so highly of me. I wondered now, why is it that I am so hard on myself? I realized that the pressure I put on myself to be better didn’t need to be there because all of my friends loved me just for who I am. I know many of you may be reading this and thinking, well my friends don’t love me as much as that, but I would like you to know that I never had any idea how much any of my friends admired me before this.

So I want to challenge you today to reflect on all the many ways you are hard on yourself, and try to take a different angle on those perspectives. What would your friends say about you? Would they allow you to be this hard on yourself if they knew? Would you ever be as mean or judgmental to another person, to a friend, or to a family member, as you are to yourself? Take a second today to be nice to yourself. To treat yourself with the love and respect that you show to other people in your life. I don't mean this to be cheesy, but seriously, show yourself some love, give yourself time to break, and allow yourself to just be who you are. 
~Anonymous

The Journey of Mental Illness: From Silence to Pride

May: a month of blooming flowers and warmer weather, when most of our attention goes to the summer months approaching rather than to the awareness focus that has been given to May; mental illness.

Most of us may not realize the prevalence that mental illness has in our own community; however, it is more common than we could imagine. From ADHD to schizophrenia, any mental illness can affect any person, regardless of gender, race, social-economic class, etc.

From a King County youth’s perspective, here’s a personal story on how mental health has affected their life.

“It started when I was really young, you know? It’s like I had to deal with things other kids didn’t. I guess I was just a little different, not in a bad way though… I was 13 when it got really bad, and I know what statistics say, “one in ten youth will attempt suicide” and “one in eight youth suffer from depression” all that kind of stuff."

"I just didn’t want to be a statistic.”

            “The school I was going to found out a while later, I think I was early into my freshman year when a teacher noticed. I probably should have anticipated some type of intervention sooner or later, I just expected people to be too awkward about it. It’s a really “off-limits” thing to talk about you know? There’s this shame that goes along with self-harm and depression, like I can’t be sick with something you can’t catch. Anyway, freshman year a teacher pestered me a lot about it. They were my health teacher, and I guess getting up in front of our class and preaching about the warning signs of suicide made them look at me. My teacher pulled me out of class to ask me if I was “okay”. I didn’t really know how to answer, and I, at the time, I was really embarrassed about it. It took a while, but we did end up talking, and they got me some help, you know, therapy and stuff.”

“I think it was how uncomfortable I could see people getting whenever I talked about things, my mental state and all, that made me hide it."

            "At first I assumed everybody would have their up’s and down’s, that everyone else was in my situation, until they started looking at me like I was messed up. Turns out I wasn’t the only one though. That same year I got help, four teens in my district died from suicide. People tried to hold prayer circles and stuff for them, but you could tell it upset a lot of people. I think it was after the third suicide that people really got the slap-in-the-face. Like, no not all these kids are messed up and diseased, and most teens will need a little help at one point or another, heck, most people do!”

            “I really didn’t like it having to get to that point, but I guess that’s where my community was. I hope people realize how common it is, I feel a lot more comfortable with myself by now. And yeah, sometimes I’ll surprise people with how open I am about my past, but I think society needs a little shock now and again, just so they realize who they’re living around.”

            “With 1 in 5 teens considering suicide, and almost 1/2 of teens having some kind of mental disorder, people need to talk about it more. No more shame that your friend is dealing with depression. No more embarrassment that you have a kid with a panic disorder. No more hiding these people from the social ideal. Even the CDC [Center for Disease Control] can recognize that “17% of people are in “optimal” mental state”.

I just wish people could be proud of others for who they are, regardless of mental state. I’m proud of myself.”

-Local youth, aged 17

If you or someone you know is dealing with a mental illness, it’s not something to be embarrassed about, but help is available. See the list below for King County specific resources! 

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - Greater Seattle
802 NW 70th Street
Seattle, WA 98117
Phone: 206-789-7722 206-789-7722 | MH Line 1-800-782-9264 1-800-782-9264 | Public 206-783-9264 206-783-9264
http://www.nami.org/
 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is one of the largest organizations in the U.S, devoted to mental health advocacy and awareness. They provide free education about mental health, and advocacy and support groups for those suffering from mental illness and their loved ones. The NAMI affiliate in King county offers peer support for those suffering from mental illness, public education programs about mental illness and, training for healthcare providers that teaches about the difficult realities dealt by those living with mental illness. The work that NAMI does is so important due to the inadequate services that the American healthcare system provides for those living with mental illness. A study conducted in 2005 by Harvard healthcare policy professor, Ronald Kessler found that 60% of Americans with a mental disorder got no treatment for their disorder.

Youth and Family Services (Kent)
http://kyfs.org/
 Provides a multi-systems approach to providing support, education, and resources to youth and their families. They have a big focus on diversity and providing culturally relevant services.
Youth Eastside Services
http://www.youtheastsideservices.org/contact/

 Youth Eastside Services provides a variety of services for youth and their families around emotional distress, mental illness, substance abuse, bullying and violence, LGBTQ issues, young parent training and resources, education, mentoring, and counseling.  

Seattle Counseling Service
1216 Pine Street, Suite 300
Seattle, WA 98101
Phone: 206-323-1768 206-323-1768
 http://www.seattlecounseling.org/
Provides sliding scale fees for counseling and a welcoming environment for all. They specifically work largely with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community in Seattle. 

For those of you interested in reading up on this important issue, Teen Link recommends:

Crazy: A Father's Search Through America's Mental Health Madness by Pete Earley. This book, about a father who tries to find help for his son who is diagnosed with a severe mental illness, illustrates how inadequate the American healthcare system can be for those with mental illnesses, and how difficult it can be for those with mental illnesses to find the proper care they need.

Also, Teen Link is open every night from 6-10pm. We are here to support you wherever you are at and however you are feeling. We are anonymous, confidential and Most importantly, non-judgmental. And, we are teenagers too… we get it. We know what it’s like to feel like no one gets us, or to have family/friend stuff, or to just feel like no one cares. We are just here to support each other and to listen. So, give us a call.

1866-TEENLINK (833-6546) or visit our chat service at http://www.866teenlink.org/

The inside story on highschool football

Football: Pain of Sacrifice or Pain of Regret

What could possibly compel someone to play a sport so physically painful? The average lifespan of an NFL lineman is barely 58 years. Granted, NFL players make a large sum of money, but college and high school football players are not paid; so why would they play football?

What makes football worth the constant headaches, soreness, and bruises?

                Bellevue High School won state for 3A this year. One Bellevue high player said “it’s satisfying to work hard for something”. Their players do not simply play for glory or self praise. They strive to play well simply because hard work is satisfying. There is a certain feeling of accomplishment while playing football. There is also a lot of glory and praise in winning a state title. But as the phrase goes, you’ve only got 15 minutes for fame. Bellevue won state this year but twenty years in the future no one is going to remember who won state in 2011. So obviously football is much more than glory, fame, or self acclamations.

                The other side to football is the team. Football is played with 11 players, not one. One player may stand out more than the rest but without all 11 players completing their assigned duties, the team fails. All 11 players learn to trust each other because if one lineman makes a mistake the QB takes a hard hit. If any player misses a block then the play goes for 2 yards instead of 5 yards. If there’s a poor handoff then the timing of the play is off resulting in no yards gained.  Every play and player is dependent upon all 11 team mates doing their job properly.

So why play football?

A player from Seattle Preparatory high school answered this very question saying, “Because the feeling of victory makes the pain and difficult times worth it. Because improvement in myself and the team doesn’t come without sacrifice”.

Within football is the idea of “Pain of Sacrifice or Pain of Regret.” Either work hard and succeed or slack off and fail. And remember, someone is always counting on you. The QB and running backs rely on the blocking skills of the O-line. The linebackers rely on the D-lineman to fill their gaps and account for their responsibilities.

So there you have it. Football is more than pain and it is more than glory. It is comradeship, fellowship, accountability, and self improvement. It is putting the team over yourself. A football team is a family. They care for each other, protect each other, and look out for each other. The bonds formed from playing high school football are bonds that can last a lifetime.

For all of these reasons, football is one of my favorite coping mechanisms. May is National Physical Fitness and Sports Month. It is a time for us to challenge ourselves to get active, to take care of our bodies, and to find our own unique ways of movement or physical activity that feel good to us.  

If you are looking to get more active or want something new to try out to relieve your stress here are some great resources in Seattle:

Bikeworks- “Our programs invest in young people and encourage bicycling as a clean and healthy transportation alternative. Our youth programs offer an innovative combination of education, bicycle repair and ownership, outdoor activities, and community service.”

To learn more visit www.bikeworks.org

Seattle Parks and Recreation- They have all kinds of opportunities from getting involved with sports to learning to swim to going on outdoor adventures.

Visit http://www.seattle.gov/parks/teens/ for more information.

Have a fun and active May!